Lost then Found Read online

  “You’re welcome. You know, it sounds like you’re concentrating a lot on how Jack is taking to Aidan. But…how are you doing?”

  “Me? Well…”

  “You’re a good mom, I’ve known you long enough to see that Jack is your first priority. But don’t forget that Jack is going to be happiest when you’re happy too, Erica!”

  I glanced over my shoulder at the house. There was no sign of Aidan or Jack. They must still be upstairs with Roderick. I turned back, pressing the phone to my ear.

  “I’m happy,” I said, practically whispering in my phone.

  “Good!” Joan said, jarringly loud in my ear. “It’s a relief to hear you say that! Alright, I’ll see you in a few weeks, let me know if you have a change of plans.”

  “Yeah, of course. Thanks for calling, bye, Joan.”

  “Bye, Erica.”

  16

  Aidan

  Jack was sitting at the foot of the large bed, his back to his grandad as he leaned Bugsy up against one of the bed posts and cradled Teddy.

  Teddy had been my toy when I was a kid. I couldn’t’ believe that Dad had kept it, all these years. Quietly, under his breath, Jack introduced the two toys to one another. I sat on the bed next to Dad, both of us watching Jack with the same adoring smile. Laughing to ourselves as we watched.

  It was nice to see my Dad so animated. He had been getting so fragile since his heart attack, sleeping most of the time, even just a short conversation would tire him out completely. It was a source of endless frustration that there was nothing I could do to make him better, no deal to negotiate, no amount of money that I could hand over to magically make him healthy again.

  “I’ve had a lot of time, recently, lying here with nothing but my thoughts,” Dad said, his voice shaking slightly, as he laid his hand on my arm, “I loved your mother, very much. After she died…”

  He shook his head, glancing down at a still distracted Jack.

  “I thought that remarrying would stop the grief, and you needed a mother. You were so young, and I didn’t know how to raise a child. I didn’t want you to be raised by a nanny.”

  I cocked my head, letting him talk.

  “Eleanor was a good woman,” Dad said, looking up at me sharply, his fingers suddenly gripping me tightly.

  “She was,” I agreed, Eleanor had been a kind woman, and a good, loving stepmother to me, “She always tried her best.”

  “Yes,” Dad’s hand fell away as he sat back against his pillows, the liveliness leaving him. “Marcus…”

  “Marcus’ behavior isn’t your fault,” I said quickly. I knew that Dad blamed himself for a lot of things. I hated how much guilt he felt. I never wanted him burdened by that.

  “You’re being kind. When I married Eleanor, he became my son. I’m responsible for him, I just…I just never seemed to get through to him.”

  Dad plucked at his bed sheet, struggling to straighten it out, his weak hands were shaking so much. Somehow, the strong hands that I remembered so clearly, had changed; the skin had become thin and his knuckles jutted out. My father, the strong man who I’d always looked up to, who was my image of what it meant to be a man.

  I took the edge of the sheet from him, straightening it for him.

  Dad made a gurgling sound, a deep and bitter laugh. Jack turned to look at him, frowning slightly, before turning back to Bugsy and Teddy.

  “I always thought that I was a good judge of character.”

  “Dad, I don’t want you to worry about this.”

  He let out a deep sigh, “I saw the way that you and Erica looked at each other. I’m glad, Aidan, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. Marcus’ marriage…He never brings his wife here, and he never has a kind word to say about her. It doesn’t take a genius to know why he felt the need to marry the heiress of one of our main competitors!”

  “Dad…”

  Jack yawned, exaggeratedly loud.

  “I imagine this young man is used to having a nap at this time of day, isn’t that right, Jack?”

  Jack shuffled around and, still holding onto Teddy, wiped his eyes with the back of one hand.

  “Grandpa?”

  Dad chuckled again, but this time it was a pleasant sound, happy in way I hadn’t heard him in years.

  “Well, go on, take him to the nursery, I had Smith get it ready, just in case you had time to stay here before you went on your trip.”

  “Alright. We’re going to come back, after the sailing trip.”

  “I’d like that,” Dad’s eyes fluttered closed, “It’ll give me something to look forward to.”

  17

  Erica

  There was an actual nursery in the house!

  Jack was snoring away in the little bed of the old fashioned room. There were boxes of toys around the walls and a rocking horse in front of the window.

  “He’s fine, he fell asleep in my arms,” Aidan said in a hushed voice. “Come, I want to look for something.”

  I followed him to the room just across the hallway, closing the door behind us.

  “Was this your bedroom when you were a kid?” I asked looking round the large room. The bed was a four poster, but other than that luxury the rest of the room was very simply decorated. It was practically spartan, apart from a small table in the far corner that was covered in framed photos.

  I gravitated over to the photos.

  I couldn’t help it. I wanted to learn more about Aidan.

  Five years ago, when we first got together, we’d started off mostly talking about work. Slowly we’d shared more, and talked about different things - sometimes talking about the big stuff, our hopes and dreams for the future, sometimes we talked about the smaller stuff, what it was like living in New York city…But, even though I’d thought I’d known him really well, he never really discussed his family.

  Except, I knew that his mother had died in childbirth.

  Right at the front of all the photos was a picture of a young woman in a long kaftan dress. She was standing outside, the grass coming up to the hem of her dress as she leaned against a tree. There was an odd, rather shy, smile on her face as she looked straight at the camera.

  “Is this your mom?”

  Aidan was on the other side of the room, searching through the drawers of a cabinet. He stopped to peer at what I was pointing at.

  “Yes,” he said, going back to his search. I heard him shuffle some things around, clanging away.

  “She was very pretty.”

  The sounds of searching stopped.

  “Dad took that photo, it was taken just after she found out she was pregnant with me.”

  “She looks very happy.”

  Aidan went back to his search, the rustling restarted.

  “I like to think so,” I heard him say quietly.

  I let the subject drop. Behind that photo, there were a lot more. There were pictures of Aidan’s father looking young and vigorous in locations all around the world. There was a picture of a teenage Aidan and Roderick standing, side by side, in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and one of the two of them, arms slung around each others shoulders, standing proudly on a mountain top with a view stretching out beneath them that looked like it might be in Africa - with baobab trees and exotic looking animals.

  It seemed to me like the two of them were really close, or that they had been when Aidan was younger. The two of them had traveled the world together. That sort of surprised me because the company gossip was that, up until a few years ago, Roderick had been very hands on as President of IBA. Yet, he’d still found time to do all these amazing things with his son.

  Odd then, that Aidan had never mentioned his dad to me, back when we were together.

  I moved aside a heavy, silver framed photo of Roderick sitting on a Japanese-style stone bench with a snow capped mountain in the background.

  Further back on the table there were pictures of a woman.

  She was very pretty.

  I paused, my hand clutching
on to the frame as I examined the photo. The more I looked at it, the more obvious it was that this was an older photo. The woman was wearing a big Peter Pan collared shirt and large, colorful earrings.

  “Who’s this?”

  Aidan stopped his search with a heavy sigh, and walked over to see what I was pointing at.

  “That’s Eleanor. Roderick’s second wife.”

  I turned to him in surprise. I don’t know why, but I’d assumed that Aidan had grown up with just his dad around. It wasn’t like he’d ever told me anything, so I guess I shouldn’t have assumed - still I felt oddly wrong-footed.

  “You have a stepmom?”

  “No, she died when I was a kid.”

  I could tell by his tone that he didn’t want to talk about it.

  I frowned. I was really torn, because I did want to respect his privacy. It was clearly a sensitive topic. I got that - after all, it was really sad that Aidan hadn’t just lost one mom, he’d lost two!

  But this was Jack’s family now. And mine, too…For now at least. I needed to know these things. I hated being left in the dark.

  Aidan looked round the room, scratching the back of his neck. His search was obviously going badly, but he refused to even tell me what he was looking for.

  I turned back to the photos. I’d ask him more about Eleanor later. I wasn’t going to let this go.

  I was nearly at the back of the table now, having gone through almost all the photos.

  There was a photo of Eleanor, kneeling down in front of a young Aidan who was dressed in a cute school uniform. She was fixing his tie for him.

  Huh.

  She was looking at him with obvious maternal pride. It looked like they had been close too.

  I shuffled the frames around, making room so that I could see the photo at the very back. I was expecting one last photo of Eleanor. To my surprise, the photo was of someone I didn’t recognize at all.

  Two young teenage boys sat next to each other. One of them was Aidan, he had his arm slung around the shoulder of the other boy.

  There was something about that other boy’s face that made me pause.

  I looked at it for a few seconds before picking up the frame so that I could get a closer look.

  Maybe it was just the expression on his face that got to me. While Aidan had a relaxed expression, this boy was scowling at the camera. It wasn’t the embarrassed look of a sullen teenager, annoyed at having to have his picture taken.

  No, this was more than that. His eyes were burning with rage.

  It made me shiver to see that much anger on a child’s face. Hopefully it was just a bad picture, taken at just the wrong moment.

  “Who is this, Aidan?”

  There was no immediate response.

  Turning, I saw Aidan had got down on his knees to look under the bed! I chuckled, seeing him sprawled on the floor like that was pretty funny!

  “Are you sure you don’t want some help with your search?”

  He stood up with a grunt.

  “No,” he said distractedly, “Dad must have moved it. It’s not here, I’ve looked everywhere.”

  I held up the photo frame and repeated my question, “Who is this?”

  He eyed the photo slowly - although surely he would know at a glance who I was talking about?

  Maybe it was just some long forgotten childhood friend, and Aidan simply couldn’t recall his name.

  Except, every single other photo on that table had been of a family member. These photos were meaningful.

  Aidan still hadn’t answered me and the silence was becoming uncomfortable.

  “I didn’t know that photo was there.”

  “Ok…”

  He made a frustrated noise, exactly like Jack did whenever I said he couldn’t have any ice cream before dinner.

  “He’s no-one. Put it back.”

  I swear it was like my body just automatically obeyed Aidan when he spoke in that tone of voice. My hand was already halfway to putting the frame back before I stopped myself.

  Here was, once again, another thing that he wasn’t going to tell me!

  He wouldn’t tell me who this boy was.

  He wouldn’t tell me what he was searching for.

  And, most of all, he had never told me why he’d left me.

  I was just sick of it. I was sick of never getting answers, of just being shut out and ignored. I wanted answers and, right now, I wanted to know who was in this fucking picture with Aidan!

  “He’s obviously someone,” I said slowly. Aidan must have caught something in my tone, even though I was trying to sound calm and even. He cocked his head, frowning slightly.

  “I told you, he’s no-one.”

  I licked my lips slowly, feeling annoyance bubble through me.

  When was the last time that I’d actually had an argument with someone? I couldn’t even remember. Sure, I might have a few snappy words with a colleague, but generally I was always calm and collected, nothing ever really got to me. Sometimes I might tell Jack off, but I was never actually angry at him.

  I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d got genuinely angry at someone!

  Slowly, my hand shaking ever so slightly, I put the frame back in its place.

  “Reeealllly…” I drawled sarcastically.

  I was furious, I could practically feel my heart beating in my chest. I stalked towards him and with each step I thought about how this attitude, this arrogance had affected our lives.

  Why couldn’t he just be honest with me?

  “You’re really going to keep yet another secret from me?”

  I had no idea why Aidan had ended things, but whatever the reason had been it obviously wasn’t such a big deal. When he needed a wife, he’d come back to me.

  Seeing this house, being here with Jack, showed me what our lives would have been like if Aidan hadn’t left. We could have been so happy together. Instead, I’d spent my pregnancy crying over Aidan, stressed out at work and trying to cope on my own, day after lonely day as I got bigger and bigger. It had been rough.

  And yeah, having Jack had made it all worth it! But how much better life would have been if Aidan hadn’t left! I could see so clearly what the last few years would have been like - living with Aidan, loving him, being a family together.

  Aidan and I could have raised Jack together, in this house. I could see it, in my mind, clear as day:

  Jack learning to walk on the grass outside. I could have been with him, instead of hearing about his first steps from Joan.

  Jack would have got the chance to know one of his grandparents. To really get to know him, before Roderick got sick. Now Jack’s only memory of him was going to be of a bedridden old man.

  All that time I’d spent crying over Aidan, wondering what I did wrong…It all been such a waste of time.

  Still, even now, I had no idea why he’d done it and here was another thing that he was keeping from me. Another thing that he wouldn’t tell me. I was sick of it.

  “Don’t be melodramatic,” Aidan said, backing up so that the legs bumped against the bed. I put my hands on his chest, feeling the hard planes of strong muscles under my hands as I shoved him, taking him by surprise. He fell backwards, tumbling onto the bed, landing in a sprawl of limbs.

  “Don’t!” I hissed, climbing onto the bed after him, my legs splaying wide as I crawled up his body, my hands and knees on either side of him. “Don’t call me melodramatic.”

  My face was above his, my hair tumbling down and surrounding him so that we were in our own little world. “I’m sick of you calling all the shots.”

  I leaned down, pressing my lips to his mouth in a kiss. I didn’t let him take control, I refused to let him dominate this kiss! He tried though, his forceful tongue attempting to take control of my mouth.

  I pulled back, sitting up as I straddled him, my ass pressing into his crotch so that I could feel his hardening cock.

  “I’m sick of all these secrets!” I hissed, barely recognizing my ow
n voice but I was swept up in a storm of passionate anger, my blood pounding in my ears and my body taut. I gripped hold of his shirt and pulled at it. The buttons strained, and I pulled harder, until with a ripping sound, his shirt opened wide, the buttons flying everywhere.

  “Erica!” he yelled in surprise. I’d never done anything like that before, but then…I’d never felt like this before! He certainly wasn’t making any move to stop me. I put my hands on his chest, on those strong muscles of his, reveling in the coiled power there, as Aidan’s sharply defined pecs heaved in surprise. His flexed abs were rock hard as I dug my fingers in between those sculpted ridges and furrows, as if I could somehow pry out Aidan’s secrets from him, like it would explain to me why he’d left me so cruelly.

  Heat thrummed through me, red anger and mind-stopping want buzzed through me.

  My hands shook as I leaned down to fist a hand into his hair, tilting his head up to that I could kiss him again. He kissed me back eagerly, not trying to take control of the kiss this time. That’s right, I was in control this time.

  But then I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders and he started to turn, trying to roll us over!

  No, that wasn’t what I wanted. I sat up, rubbing down on his hard cock, my hips making small circles so that I could feel my panties were already soaking wet.

  “Don’t move,” I warned him. He nodded quickly, his pupils were so large that his eyes looked black as he stared up at me like he’d never seen me before. Fuck, it made me so hot, seeing him like this, underneath me and doing what I told him for once. I ground down, feeling the outline of his cock against my pussy, our clothes keeping us apart. Already dizzy and desperate, riding the rush of anger and power, I shimmied out of my panties, hiking my skirt up to my waist.

  I glanced at Aidan, he was watching me with a look of awe - he’d obeyed me and hadn’t moved an inch. I smiled proudly, draping my hand along his abs, caressing them as I worked my way down to his pants.

  Last night, I’d hesitated before pulling Aidan’s boxers down. Now, I had no hesitation. I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to get it. I ripped at his pants, pulling at them until I’d freed his cock, watching it stand upright, already wet with precum.

  “You ready?” I asked, straddling him, the tip of his cock kissing my dripping wet pussy lips.